Blood Red
by PinkyandtheBrainfan88
Summary: A very strange story, to be sure, but one that is hopefully quite funny and very enjoyable.  Please comment with constructive criticism!
1. Chapter 1

_Just before I read on, I did not set out originally to make this story what it is. It just kind of happen. I can understand if you think this fanfiction is seriously weird (I'm sure I do), but I hope at least you can appreciate it and at least partially enjoy it. _

**Blood Red (Part 1)**

There were advantages of having such a sweet, silly mother. No matter how many times you threw your pink dresses out of the window, or aimed and fired slingshots at people who stuck out their tongues at you, you would always be forgiven and unconditionally loved by your mother. That is, _if_ you mother was Queen Snow White and _you_ were her only daughter, Blood Red.

Even Blood Red was not quite sure how she had turned out the way she had. She had made a theory about it though. She was determined to think that every girl's life took one of two paths. Either you became _exactly _like your mother, or you became exactly _not_ like your mother. Both Snow White and her daughter had turned out to be vastly different from the women who mothered them, although, while the Evil Queen who had looked after Snow White had been evil, Blood Red was simply boyish, naughty and rebellious.

She was described as being the strongest, most boyish twelve-year old in the land and many people thought out loud that she should have been named "Fire Red," rather than "Blood Red," for her fiery temper and manner. Luckily, though she was far from the most lady-like princess that had ever been, Blood Red was not nasty or horrible and she was always very polite and respectful to her mother and father.

However, Blood Red often felt irritated with her parents. She could never talk about her battle plans or weapon designs to her mother and she could not even talk about them with her father, who seemed uninterested about battles and tactics, much preferring to sit on his throne all day and talk about boring laws and taxes. _Boring, boring, BORING_, Blood Red thought and sought entertainment alone.

Right now, she was planning to escape out of the castle. There were enough ways to do it and it was more fun trying to actually think of a _hard_ way to escape, than trying to think of a _good_ way to escape. Blood Red had already tried and succeeded with the mattress and the garden wall routine; she had tried and managed, just, to slip out of the crowd when her family were going on parade and she had then struck on a brighter idea. She decided she would dress up as an old man and pretend to have a mysterious and strange object: a watch that could turn beavers to gold. OK, maybe it had been done before, but it was still original and Blood Red knew she could play a very convincing old man. To Blood Red's delight, once "he" had presented himself and "his treasure" to the King and Queen, she was kicked out of the castle, as even Snow White found "him" a little much too handle and then she, or rather "he", had managed to travel out of the city on a horse-drawn cab and see the countryside, where the farmers toiled hard to plough the fields and the air stank of manure, not totally different from the stink of pee and food waste in the city, to be honest. Eventually Blood Red became bored and missed her feather bed, so she ended up changing her disguise and she gave herself up, travelling on another horse-drawn cab back to the city, to the waiting arms of her mother and father. Of course, she was told off a little, particularly by her father, but they did not remain angry for long.

_Now,_ though, Blood Red had a new plan up her itchy, puffy sleeves knitted by _magical fairies who just lurve you little princess SO MUCH,_ as her mother put it. Again, the plan involved changing her clothes, but this time, Blood Red would disguise herself as a serving boy, as doing a young boy's voice was much less painful than doing an old man's voice for long periods on end. She then planned to find a group of people she had heard rumours about, when she had eavesdropped beside the door of the kitchens where her voluptuous dinners were prepared. These people were: the ninjas. Apparently, they were the most terrifying, but amazing people in the land. They crept up on people, stole, murdered, whatever was necessary to keep them alive. They had a special routine, a way of life and apparently, you could lead a double life with one of them being in the ways of a ninja. Blood Red was very keen on the idea of having a double life and it sounded glorious to be a part-time ninja. She loved creeping after people, leaping down from great heights and threatening people to get her to do what she wanted. She was not quite sure she was ready to kill yet, but she considered they might have special allowances for female ninjas. Anyhow, there was only one way to find out and that was try to _meet them_.

As Blood Red could sew and knit her own clothes from material imported in from outside the palace, she had managed to create a serfit of boy's outfits, all tucked safely away in the back of her wardrobe where no-one would see them. She simply slipped off her dress (slipped being the operative word, more wriggled and stretched) and changed into her boy's outfit (which was considerably looser and more comfortable). Her hair was still quite short from her last escapade, but she snipped off a little more just in case and browned up her cheeks with a case of mud she kept in one the drawers of her bed-side table. Blood Red then peered outside her room, to make sure no-one was there and she ran out a top speed down to the servant's quarters.

She knew that today, her mother and father would be meeting a new servant, a young lad of about her age. This boy would be going up to meet Queen Snow White and the King very soon, all Blood Red needed to do was to give him some coins to make him go away and she could take his place. Her father and mother had no idea what this boy looked like, so they would be none the wiser.

The plan had gone well so far. The boy had taken the money eagerly, Blood Red's parents would have realized he was too dodgy to be a worthy servant anyway, if they had actually met him. She too made herself out to be very dodgy and totally unrecognizable as their daughter. They were so well fooled, that Blood Red had to stop herself from girlishly laughing. She was sent out by one of the Royal Guard to town, where she could go from there on her own and find _the ninjas_.

Blood Red was very interested in map-reading and geography and had memorized almost all of the streets, alleyways and main buildings of this city off by heart, so she had a good idea of where she should go. Even if she could not find them by herself, there would be contacts.

Once Blood Red had made her way to a sleazy, crime-ridden, depressed part of town, however, her plan did not go as she had thought it would. A witch, trying to sell some of her potions, dragged Blood Red over to her stall and offered all her _lovely_ boiled newts' liver candies and diced mouse droppings to help ease the pain of the common cold. Still pretending to be a boy, Blood Red declined,

"No thanks Ma'am, I'm on my way to…" She leant over sneakily into the old hag's ear. "Meet the ninjas," Blood Red whispered cunningly, hoping this possibly dangerous woman would be able to help her search.

"Didn't catch a word o' that, young whelp, that ear's all deaf. Try this one." The woman cocked her head so Blood Red could lean down and speak into the woman's other wrinkled, raisin-like ear.

"Meet the ninjas." Blood Red stood up straight to see the woman's expression. She seemed none the wiser. "Never 'eard of them, young man," she replied quickly. "Want to buy some cat-brain stuffed peppers?" she then asked, holding up a jar optimistically.

"I'm sorry, I said no thank you." Blood Red was just about to turn away, when the old woman grabbed her again and whispered in _her _ear,

"What about a time machine gadget?"

"A TIME MACHINE?" Blood Red shouted incredulously, nearly betraying her female identity.

"Hush HUSH!" the witch hurriedly snapped, slapping Blood Red on the cheek. As Blood Red had never been slapped in her life, she was momentarily deeply insulted and in great pain, but was smart enough to keep her spoilt, rich background undercover. Blood Red then raised an eyebrow at the woman, encouraging her to explain further.

"It will be able to send you _back_ or _forward_ in time… Haha, any time you want, my dear…" Out of her stinking, shadow-black jacket she took out a small, purple wooden box. With hands shaking with excitement, she presented it to the "young man", who took it with an air of disappointment.

"How does it work?" Blood Red asked, much more silent this time.

"You open the box, _then_, you can press little buttons that give you the date and rough place of _where_ you want to go. But – _ah_ – be careful, the last button you must press, _before _you go travelling through time, must be the button with the letter "M" on it.

"What does the letter "M", mean?" questioned Blood Red.

"It's means, "me", my dear lad. There will be a button saying "SE", which means "someone else" and there will be a button saying "MAWEIAT", which means, "me and whoever else I am touching.""

"That's all very complicated," scoffed Blood Red, enjoying her boyish role considerably more.

"Well magic is never _uncomplicated,_ is it?" the old hag muttered crossly. "There's _always_ some catch. How did you think our Queen managed to survive, eh? Because there's always an antidote to the poison, there's always a hidden flaw if you cast a spell. Besides, it makes life more exciting if you have complication, does it not, hmm?"

It freaked Blood Red out slightly that this woman had made a reference to her mother like that. She may not have adored Snow White, but she was very glad that Snow White _had not_ really been killed by that poisoned apple, otherwise, Blood Red would never have been _born_ and had the life she had had. Blood Red soon pushed these thoughts out of her mind and slowly, opened the box.

There was indeed, as the hag had described, a complicated array of buttons, each having on them numbers or letters. The process was easy enough for a young mind to work out. First you had to press the buttons for the time of day you wanted to travel to. Then, you selected the year, the month and the day itself. Then you had to press as many letters as you needed to spell out the name of the place you wanted to go to, or it could give you a "random," symbolised by the letter "R," as the witch explained. Then, finally, you were able to select "M", "SE", or "MAWEIAT." To make absolutely sure that it _did _work, Blood Red selected a time period of two minutes into the future, in this location, so both she and the witch could tell if she had disappeared for two minutes. Blood Red then selected: "M." Or she thought she had.

When nothing seemed to happen and Blood Red seemed to be exactly where she was a moment ago, Blood Red realized she had not looked properly as she had been pressing the "SE" button.

"You little _fool_!" the witch cried as Blood Red announced her mistake. The wrinkled woman was about to slap Blood Red again, before she withheld herself and smiled. "But, aha, you have been _very clever_, you little young man."

"How?" Blood Red asked, stumped.

"You asked the time machine to send you two minutes into the future. We'll just have to wait around for two minutes and then a complete stranger will appear! Then, we can send him or her back to his or her home and you can go wherever you want."

Blood Red nodded, understanding. She was _extremely_ glad she had decided to do this little time travel test before actually _starting _to _properly_ time travel. "While we wait, why don't I pay you?" Blood Red asked, feeling generous.

"Ah, but you don't know whether it's going to work or not," the ancient hag winked. Blood Red nodded, but she was very impatient. By now she could have been on her way to seeking out the ninjas. This whole deal was probably just a whole scam so this manipulative magic woman could force her to buy some fried bat spleens.

Two minutes seemed to take forever, but to Blood Red's immense surprise, at last, the validity of the old witch's claims were proven to be correct.

From behind them, they first heard and then saw a newcomer, the like of which they had _never _seen before. It was not clear at first whether this person was a human or not, he had light blue skin and unnaturally jagged black hair, for starters, but soon enough Blood Red and the old witch realized that this was a guy from… The _future_.

"Where am I? _What is this_? Last thing I remembered I was getting somewhere with Steph and now I'm stuck in the middle of some _miserable alleyway!_"

Blood Red, once she had overcome her shock at the miracle of time travel, walked over to the man and asked,

"Excuse me, what is your name, sir?"

"Oh, hello there. I am _Freakazoid_, wonderful superhero and saver of the _planet_ from reasonably evil – I mean - _very_ evil villains from innocent people. Why do you ask?"

"Because, you know you just appeared here out of nowhere?"

Freakazoid gave Blood Red a strange look. "Young man, are you saying I'm _nuts_? Just because I _find myself suddenly in strange places I've never been in_?" Freakazoid paused, looking at nowhere in particular to the side and then back to Blood Red again. "I'm sorry, you're right, I _am_ nuts. Yes, why have I suddenly found myself here and where _is_ here?"

"You are in the kingdom of Queen Snow White and her husband, the King," Blood Red explained, avoiding her father's name as subtly as possible. "I have accidentally sent you back in time, I believe. Where were you, last time you checked?"

"I was in 1998," replied Freakazoid. "At the new flat of my girlfriend…" Freakazoid's eyes went momentarily dreamy and then he suddenly realized the impact of Blood Red's words.

"I've UNWILLINGLY TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME? Do you realize what this _means_?" He clutched Blood Red's arms in a way that made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Er… No," she replied nervously.

"That this is TOTALLY AWESOME," replied Freakazoid. "Wait, did _you_ accidentally send me here again?"

"Yes, that's what I've been trying to explain," Blood Red replied. "I'm very sorry to have inconvenienced you, but _I _was trying to travel forward into the future, two minutes into the future, to be exact, to test this time machine," she showed Freakazoid the purple box and he gazed at it like it was the Holy Grail.

"Wow," he grinned. "You sent me here thanks to a little BOX?"

"Yep," Blood Red announced proudly. Admittedly, this was the most incredible thing she had ever done. It beat creeping up on people and stealing their money, to be sure. "And now I can take you back."

Freakazoid looked angrily at Blood Red. "But why would I go BACK, when I could go anywhere I want? Why, I could go back to meet and stand on Napoleon, I could see when Regis Philbin was born!"

Blood Red blinked in confusion. "That must be all in the future for me. Well, I'd be happy to let you take yourself to see those people, as long as I can come with you."

"Fine, as long as you let me keep the box!" replied Freakazoid.

"I don't think so, I was just about to pay for it, you see this woman-." Blood Red gestured to the stall where the old woman had been selling her wares, but the stall and the old woman had gone.

"Urgh, darn witches," spat Blood Red. "Always sneaking off at the last minute. But wait... Why would she leave when she knew I could give her some money for it?" Blood Red tried to use her deductive powers, while Freakazoid scratched his head as his brain remained in a neutral state, impacted slightly by a desire for mints. Suddenly, it dawned on Blood Red.

When Blood Red had asked the witch about the ninjas, she had been very quick and determined in her negative answer. What if that was a _lie_ and _she _was a ninja, or, what if she was an enemy of them? Maybe she had _even_ stolen the time machine off a ninja and thought that the ninjas might be coming to get her.

"Quick, Freakazoid, tell me _when_ and _where_ you want to go. Hurry!"

"Why, what's wrong?" Freakazoid queried, shrugging.

"Just TELL ME!" Blood Red requested, her voice going to a dangerously high level.

"All right, er… Ten o' clock in the evening, 17th of June, 1815. Location: Where Napoleon Bonaparte is."

"That's not very clear! And how do you spell that?"

Freakazoid helped enthusiastically with spelling problems. Blood Red then asked,

"We need to be touching for us to go back in time together. Take my hand." Blood Red stretched out her palm in a surprisingly feminine manner. Freakazoid shrugged and took the hand, excited at what was about to happen. He was going to be able to _squash_ Napoleon, less than twenty-four hours before the Battle of Waterloo and so save thousands of lives of worthy British and slightly less worthy French people without getting so much as a dirty foot.

More sure about the workings of the box this time, Blood Red pressed the button that said, "MAWEIAT."

At first, nothing happened, but then, both people began to feel a strange light-headedness, then see a bright light and then watch as everything faded momentarily, to black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Blood Red (Part 2)**

Blood Red found herself lying on the ground of a forest, a short distance away from an assembled army camp. Freakazoid and Blood Red could see several soldiers in the camp, eating by campfires, singing in French, of course, and readying themselves for the possible battle tomorrow.

"You know, I've travelled back in time before," Freakazoid randomly commented, not seeming to be unnerved by the presence of so many soldiers with so much weaponry. "It was through a vortex that _liked _honey-roasted nuts. I couldn't choose where I wanted to go, but with your little box – er… What's your name?"

Blood Red almost gave away her real name, but then remembered her new identity that she had adopted back in her parents' kingdom. "Er…" She couldn't think of a proper name. _What _was she going to _say_? "Gregor," the name randomly came out. It _was_ random, but _not_ questionable.

"Hmm, haven't met a Gregor before, then again, never met anyone from Snow White's kingdom before. Now, let's SQUASH NAPOLEON!"

Before, they had been talking at a safe level, but now that Freakazoid had madly shouted and alerted the attention of almost all the French soldiers, Blood Red was close to wetting herself with fright and anger. "How could you _do_ such a stupid thing?" she asked Freakazoid, narrowly giving away her female identity by speaking in such a high voice. She then shook him roughly by the shoulders, staring daggers into his eyes surrounded by a little black mask.

The superhero looked a little sheepishly at her and answered as calmly as he could, "I'm crazy."

They both looked up, dismayed, to see several soldiers running up to investigate them.

"Oh NUTBUNNIES!" shouted Freakazoid, just standing still and letting the soldiers surround him and "Gregor," pointing their long silver guns at them dangerously.

"Guess what?" Freakazoid whispered to Blood Red, "I _can't_ speak fluent French! Pretty much my only phrase is: Qui a coupe le fromage? That means, who cut the cheese?"

"_Useful_," Blood Red remarked sarcastically.

One of the soldiers barked at them in the language that Freakazoid could not speak. The meaning was clear enough though, for as Blood Red and Freakazoid stared blankly at the soldier, he said something else and the rest of the soldiers pointed their guns closer at the intruders.

"Wait, wait, _wait_!" shouted Freakazoid, waving his hands about. "Maintenant, qui a coupe le fromage?"

The soldiers grunted in surprise and confusion at Freakazoid's random contribution.

"Qui a coupe le fromage?" Freakazoid repeated politely. Suddenly, while the soldiers were too stumped to do anything, Freakazoid quickly grabbed Blood Red, who screamed in a high tone in response and the superhero promptly whizzed at his fastest speed to the biggest tent in the army camp.

"WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_?" screamed Blood Red in her girlish voice. Freakazoid however, was not paying quite enough attention to realize the odd tone, but replied:

"I'm going to squash His Imperial Majesty Napoleon I, By the Grace of God and the Constitutions of the Republic, Emperor of the French."

Blood Red paused and sighed before he answered. "You might as well just have said Napoleon. Clearly you are too _keen_ on this guy."

"Au _contraire_!" replied Freakazoid dramatically, as he landed dramatically in front of Napoleon's tent, lifted up the entrance flap and rushed inside.

There were cries of "Mon dieu!" "Take _that,_ little evil person!" and "Wait till _Cosgrove_ gets here!", until eventually, after a minute, Freakazoid came out of the tent to meet Blood Red, holding a little flattened person in his hand.

"For such a tiny little Emperor, he _really_ packed a punch. But, my job is done now and we can _choose _to go somewhere else in time to change history!"

"I'm so pleased," Blood Red replied quietly and sarcastically. She was unsure she wanted to go to the same place _Freakazoid _wished to go to.

"Let's go to…. Ooh, er, can't decide…"

Suddenly, Blood Red noticed the amount of angry, shocked French soldiers starting to rush towards them and soon, even Freakazoid heard their cries of anger and their summoning of other soldiers.

"NUTBUNNIES!" Freakazoid bellowed, grabbing Blood Red again and zooming at a very quick speed deep into the forest, safer from the soldiers, although the French soldiers still knew the way the American and the "boy" from the Snow White kingdom had gone.

"_Quick_, let's choose a place on the Time Machine Gadget so we can escape from these raving mad men," Blood Red whispered

"_Oh_, good _plan_, have you done this often?" Freakazoid enquired interestedly.

"As a matter of fact – _no_," Blood Red answered, even more irritated with Freakazoid's madness and lack of logical sense than she had previously been. "What date would you suggest, Freakazoid?" she queried.

"Hmm… Let me think. There are so many places I want to _go_…"

"_Please_, just choose! They're _coming_!" Blood Red nearly yelled too highly.

"Oh _fine_, don't put so much pressure on me, Gregor," Freakazoid snapped. He picked up the time machine and with a little help, he transported them both to the year, day and hour that Freakazoid was born as Dexter Douglas, 1979.

"_Please _tell me we haven't arrived at another _battle scene_!" Gregor asked worriedly, seeing strange moving machines on a wide road, as well as many groups of very fast people on grey pavements.

"Oh _no_," Freakazoid reassured his new acquaintance. "This is 1979. We're just outside of the Washington hospital where I will be born, in less than an hour!"

"Don't _shout_," objected Blood Red, conscious that people were staring at them. "You don't want everyone else to know about time travel, _do you_?" she whispered to him.

"Of course not!" Freakazoid touched his cheek and looked with shocked eyes at Blood Red. "I wouldn't want _this _going into the _wrong hands_! What would happen _then_?"

"Chaos," Blood Red replied simply. "Let's go see when you were born, if that's what your heart desires."

"Mmm, what an old-fashioned, _cheesy_ phrase," commented Freakazoid as they walked to the hospital entrance. "Works for me!"

"My mother uses – or rather used - _wonderful_ phrases like that _all the time_," Blood Red moaned, glad that she was with someone less cheesy than her mum, even if he _was _a serious risk hazard _and a madman_.

"What other kinds of things did your mum say?" questioned Freakazoid.

Before Blood Red could answer, both she and Freakazoid heard some crashing, car horn noises and cackles from up the block, only a few metres away. Blood Red could make out a short figure in a long white coat with a very large… _Pink head_? This pink-headed figure, she could see, was running about excitedly, dodging the strange moving-machine things and laughing like an over-grown child.

"The _LOBE_!" shouted Freakazoid, as his hair spiked up with his anger.

"Who?" Blood Red asked, worried. Who was this _strange _man whom Freakazoid happened to know?

"Get down," whispered Freakazoid. "He's one of my _arch-enemies_. Looks like he was around committing crimes even before _my time_. I'll be back presently, just watch me work."

Freakazoid gently pushed Blood Red behind the flight of stairs to the hospital, where she could still see the battle that was about to ensue between the hero and the enemy.

Blood Red could not quite make out their conversation, but she could tell that the Lobe appeared not to recognize Freakazoid, which was unsurprising, considering Dexter Douglas had not been born yet. This is the conversation that went on between them before the fight began:

"Who are _you_?" the Lobe cried indignantly.

"I – I'm the F Exclamation Mark Man!" Freakazoid replied hesitantly.

"That's bound to be a mouthful every time you're just about to battle a villain or to save a silly little person's life. Come on, _spit it out_, what's your _real _name, _superhero_?"

Freakazoid paused and looked almost stupidly at the Lobe. Finally, pulling himself up to his full height, he replied, "I, Lobe, am _Freakazoid_!"

"Wait, Freakazoid, _how_ do you know my _name_?"

Freakazoid whispered under his breath, "Oh _nutbunnies_!" then replied, "Erm… I _just _do…"

"I've only just been _changed_, you strange man, _no-one _recognizes me! What's your _secret_?"

"Er… I'm… _Psychic_! Yes, that's it! Wait-." Freakazoid paused, his track of thought changing. "What do you mean you've _changed_? Haven't you been like this _forever_?"

"Of _course _not," replied the Lobe indignantly. "I have been the subject of a _permitted experiment_ by an _evil scientist_ who lives under a false name. His real name is one even _I _don't know."

"Well that doesn't give much background information, does it? So… You started out as a normal human being?"

"That's _right _Freakazoid. Isn't it just, _lovely_? That I've come from being a _pathetic, tiny-brained _human, to having the most _individual brain potential_ of _anyone_ in the _whole wide world_!"

Here the Lobe laughed in an evil manner, until, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Blood Red, who, too engrossed in the conversation to care about her safety, had stood up and moved out of her hiding place to listen to them, though at the same time making sure she did not step into the _very_ dangerous-looking road.

"_Who_ are _you_?" the Lobe asked curiously, giving a sinister grin.

"_Gregor_!" shouted Freakazoid. "I _told you _to _get down_-."

"_Quiet_," the Lobe interrupted. "_So_, she's with you…"

Blood Red gulped and jumped up with fright. He could _tell_.

"What? _She_?" Freakazoid asked with perplexity. "But, that's _Gregor_, Gregor's a _boy_."

"Oh you _silly superhero_, that's a _girl_ _disguised _as a boy. Having an enormous _brain_, I can _tell _these things."

Freakazoid, stumped, scratched his head and studied Blood Red with scrutiny.

"_Hmm_, now you mention it, _Lobe_…"

"Oh I don't need to listen to _you_," the Lobe sighed, walking past him. "Before I bother _tackling you_, I'll _get rid _of the _weak little sidekick _first…"

Blood Red stood stock still in fright, as the Lobe began to painfully slowly _walk towards her_.

**Hello everyone!**

**I'm _so _sorry I took SO long to post this chapter! :( It's to do with having different computers with different documents on them… All very confusing. I hope this part has been worth the wait and I'll do my best to post the third part sooner! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Blood Red (Part 3)**

The Lobe was coming closer and closer. Blood Red was beginning to despair for her life, when, all of a sudden, Freakazoid actually _did_ come to save the day. The superhero made a huge somersault leap _straight _into the Lobe's path and kicked him across the street so hard he went flying, then, as he yelped, he landed and rolled away like a ball.

"_Quick_, let's get in the hospital," whispered Freakazoid, grabbing Blood Red's hand and running up the steps to the building's entrance. Blood Red _had _been a bit worried at first at entering the strange, _huge_ building, but now she considered that it would be a pretty safe place to hide, as long as the Lobe did not see where they had gone.

Meanwhile, the recently transformed superhuman's fast path was blocked off by a policeman, who, having not seen either the Lobe's traffic blocking or his conflict with Freakazoid, was more concerned than angry with him, _especially_ as he looked so horribly _abnormal_.

"Are you going to be _OK_, sir?" the policeman asked with concern.

Standing up, the Lobe replied with an incensed manner, "I _will_ be, as soon as I get that _annoying man Freakazoid_!" Before the policeman could question the Lobe, the man with a brain for a head was off, until he stopped, realizing he did not know where Freakazoid had gone.

"Has anyone seen a _blue guy_ with a – young boy - around here?" shouted the Lobe, trying to control his temper and not sound too aggressive.

A young woman, who had witnessed much of the recent action and was terrified of this strange man, replied, "Y-y-yes sir, h-he went into the hospital!"

The Lobe grinned. "_Thank you_," he replied, rubbing his palms. "I will soon have my _revenge_, on _both _of those odd people!"

"And he's calling _them _odd," an on-looker whispered to his friend. The Lobe overheard and peered at them coldly. The two mens' eyes widened and they yelped, escaping quickly for their lives.

The Lobe paused, scanning the interested group that had formed around him. "Is ANYONE _ELSE_ WISHING TO _INSULT ME_?" he questioned loudly, bending down like a tiger ready to pounce. All the on-lookers shook their heads and some moved away nervously. The Lobe straightened and smiled complacently.

"_Good_," he replied and giving an evil grin, rushed up the flight of steps to the hospital.

Meanwhile, Freakazoid had managed to find the ward where his mother was giving birth, but obviously he was not allowed to see the action. Blood Red was rather glad about this, after all the rush she had just been through, she was not sure she could witness a childbirth.

While Freakazoid stood outside of the hospital ward, he cleared his throat and spoke to his companion.

"Erm… What's your real name, Gregor?"

Blood Red gazed sheepishly at the ground, as she replied, "Blood Red. My name's Blood Red."

"_Hey_," Freakazoid noted, "That sounds a lot like _Snow White_."

Blood Red gulped and her heart missed a beat. This time, she gave Freakazoid eye contact and he comprehended her frightened expression.

"You're… _You're SNOW WHITE'S DAUGHTER?" _Freakazoid shouted in amazement. "YOU'RE A PRINCESS?"

Blood Red groaned with embarrassment and nervousness as she looked around and several people who had passing by were staring at her and Freakazoid. Blood Red started crumpling to the ground, wanting the floor of the strange material to swallow her up, when, suddenly, she had an idea. Standing up straight, she told everyone,

"Sorry, I've been told to look after this guy. He's from an institution, you see, a bit of a nut. He says the _weirdest_ things about me."

The explanation was neither too long, nor too short and since Blood Red had said it in her boyish voice, everyone thought she was a _boy_ and the idea of her being a _princess_ sounded even more ridiculous. Freakazoid, being wise for once, said nothing until everyone else had passed, then he whispered to Blood Red,

"I'm sorry, I realize that was _very _awkward, but I just _can't _believe I've met the daughter of the famous Snow White."

"_Famous_?" asked Blood Red, feeling even _more _awkward.

"_Yeah_," Freakazoid answered. "Everyone knows the story of how a little girl whose stepmother hated her was nearly killed by a huntsman and ran off to stay with cute little _dwarvies_ and how her stepmother turned into an old hag and gave her a red apple which Snow White ate and _nearly died_ but then she got saved because _Prince Charming_ kissed her and they lived _happily ever after_!"

Blood Red was surprised at the eager, almost _girly_ way in which he recounted her mother's history, especially with the fact that he mentioned her father's crushingly embarrassing name. Blood Angry was _angry_ at his interpretation though.

"That's all _true_ and it's _not _a story!" she whispered. "My _crazy _mother did all that and my father, ergh, _Prince Charming_, did save her life, although I kind of wish it had been a slightly more macho guy, it would have hardened her up a bit."

"That _reminds me_," Freakazoid added, "How can you be _so _boyish and tough when you have Snow White as a mother?"

Blood Red was so insulted she slapped Freakazoid. Luckily there was no-one else nearby to witness this, but he did feel very hurt.

"I could have Cosgrove _arrest you _for that, as long as we travelled into the future, of course."

"I'd rather not go through that process, if you don't mind," replied Blood Red, still enraged.

Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted by some especially loud screams from Freakazoid's mother in the other room. Looking at each other before going in, Freakazoid and Blood Red, suddenly curious, tip-toed into the ward.

"Quick," whispered Freakazoid, noticing some spare white coats on a hook by the door, "Put these on." He gave one to Blood Red and after adorning themselves in hospital attire, they did not look _quite _so out of place.

In fact, as they opened a curtain to see Dexter's mum, her birth partner and a few midwives and doctors; the doctor, a rather panicked man, called to Freakazoid and Blood Red,

"Quick, give me a hand with the head!"

The two, caught up in the moment, hardly had time to hesitate or realize the ridiculousness of the situation. They came over to the bed and both helped to pull out a small tiny head, while the other midwives and doctors inserted various needles and sorted out the mother's gas and air supply. Soon enough, almost by themselves, Blood Red and Freakazoid pulled out the baby who would soon become Dexter Douglas, coated in blood and "baby slime" as Freakazoid called it.

Despite the disgusting and frightening operation, both Blood Red and Freakazoid, though neither of them were particularly fond of babies, were both captivated by the newborn child they held in their hands. He was soon taken away from them by the Doctor so Freakazoid's mother could see him and so the Doctor could perform checks on Dexter Douglas. In the few moments Freakazoid had held, in theory, _himself_ and Blood Red had helped, the two had never felt so captivated, warm and cosy.

Blood Red decided they should leave the family in peace and gently dragged Freakazoid away. After washing their hands in a nearby basin, they slowly walked out of the hospital, still hypnotized by the beauty of Dexter Douglas.

"So that was definitely _you_?" Blood Red quietly asked as they walked along, not noticing a man with a pink fleshy head creeping up on them behind stationary medicine trolleys.

"Yes, he also looked more like me than _Duncan_."

Blood Red was about to ask who Duncan was, when suddenly, from only a few feet away, the Lobe leapt at Blood Red, cackling , grasping her hands in a tight lock with his left hand and covering her mouth with his right hand.

Blood Red tried to scream, but the sound was forcefully blocked out by the Lobe's surprising strength, considering he was shorter and thinner than Blood Red.

"Tell me _who _you are and _how _you know who I am…" the Lobe hissed. "Or else the _girl goes_…"

Freakazoid, warm and soft after having helped with his own childbirth, was not in a mood for fighting. Hesitating only a little, he replied,

"I'll tell you, just make sure we don't attract attention."

"All right," the Lobe replied, releasing Blood Red, who looked furious after hearing Freakazoid's submission. Luckily, no-one had seen the conflict and as they talked, no-one thought to overhear their conversation.

"I know you from the future, Lobe. One day, I will save the world from _you_ and throw you in _jail_, many a time," Freakazoid whispered menacingly.

Even though the Lobe was anything but frightened of Freakazoid, now he almost shivered with the excitement of the discovery, not just because the superhero implied that time travel was real.

Composing himself, the Lobe replied, "Hmm. That does make sense. How does the _girl_ fit into it though?"

Freakazoid was just about to reluctantly reply when Blood Red subtly nudged him, so his mouth was clamped shut. The Lobe wanted, unfortunately, to persuade the girl to _talk_.

"_Oh_, young girl… You are going to be _so _hard to persuade, thinking you're so _tough_ and_ all_…"

"I _am _tough," Blood Red replied defiantly in her boyish tone. "I _know _what sentimental is and _believe me_, I am the least sentimental person _here_."

The Lobe's nonexistent eyebrows raised.

"So I _see_. I _still _want to know _who _you are and _what _you know about this _time travel_. _I _reckon Freakazoid is too _stupid _to handle the historical business. _You _know something about travelling into the past and future, _don't you_?"

Blood Red, surprised by the Lobe's intelligence and reasoning, nearly yelped and stood stock still, even _less _eager now to give the information he wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

**Blood Red (Part 4)**

Blood Red was adamant that she would _not _give the information, until the strange man pulled a _curious_ metal object from his jacket, shoving it into Blood Red's chest. The Lobe was surprised to see that Blood Red did not seem scared by this object, instead, she craned her neck to look down at it with interest. She even touched it, the feeling of its surface reminded her of smooth, polished metal, in a hammer or sword, perhaps.

Freakazoid whispered with urgency, "Blood Red, he's got a gun!"

Blood Red glanced up and asked with concern, "What's a gun?"

"It's a thing he can _shoot you _with and all your poor gutsies and heart will go spilling everywhere and it'll all be messy and sticky and horrible!" Freakazoid replied quickly, more frightened than the girl had ever heard and seen him to be before. She glanced at the Lobe's grinning, wide-eyed face and he nodded, chuckling with evil.

"_So..._ He can use this thing to _kill _me?" she asked.

"Oh yes, _very _quickly!" Freakazoid almsot shouted, clutching his cheeks with his fingers.

The girl's complexion changed. Now, Blood Red, was very, _truly_ afraid. She knew she was being forced by this superhuman with a brain for a head, to give him valuable information about the magic of time travel and how to work it. Sighing, with a trembling lip, Blood Red replied,

"All right, _Lobe_. Come out of this building and I will give you a compromise." She and Freakazoid began to walk out of the hospital, the Lobe followed, looking annoyed.

"A _compromise_? I want to know it _all_."

"_Yes,_ but villains can't _always_ have their way, now _can they?_" Freakazoid added in his typical childish voice.

Blood Red actually appreciated the little amount of effort he was making. Freakazoid clearly seemed to be nervous for Blood Red, tempted to reach out and squeeze her hand if it would give her any comfort at this stressful time.

When they had reached an area far from the hospital's entrance, with a shaking hand, Blood Red took a few steps backwards from Freakazoid's enemy and took the box from her pocket.

"_This box_ has allowed us to travel through time. You just punch in the date and time you want to go to, then, if _you_ want to go, you press M; if you want another random person to go you press SE; if you want you and anyone who's _touching _you to travel then press MWAIET; _then_ you can press in the name of _place _you want to travel to. Or, if you would rather visit a random place in that time period, press "R." Using this time machine, I accidentally transported Freakazoid into the past, to my city. Since then, he has been using the device to go to times and places in history _very _important to him."

"_Honestly,_ Freakazoid," sighed the Lobe, as if he had known the man for a long time, "Blood Red hasn't got to use it _at all_, you've been _very _selfish playing with it and not letting _her _have a turn."

Frekazoid's expression became blank and he scratched his head with some embarrassment. "Oh... Now that you say it, I _have _been selfish. I'm sorry -."

"He's trying to _weaken you!,_" shouted Blood Red urgently. "Even if he says the most sensible things, _ignore him_."

"You seem _very _clear-headed despite the situation," commented the villain with a brain for a head.

"Indeed," Blood Red replied confidently. "And, I can announce, with a _very _clear head, that what I've told you about the time machine, is _all _you're _ever _going to know-."

She was just about to start putting the time box back into her pocket, when the Lobe, who had been remarkably still and relaxed beforehand, suddenly lunged like a lion towards Blood Red, pinning down her arm. As she screamed defiantly, the Lobe wrestled the device out of Blood Red's hand, holding it up in the air. Freakazoid, having seen the Lobe's movements happen so quickly, was still too stunned to save the day. He just watched as the Lobe pressed several buttons. Freakazoid noticed Blood Red's hand roughly clasping his arm with one hand and clasping the Lobe's with the other, as they all were transported to an entirely new place, in a flash.

The three found themselves in a misty, dark, claustrophobic jungle, with several very large insects flying slowly around them and worms and ants crawling across the ground in front of them.

"Ha ha, I _knew _you'd come with me in time, I _know now_ not to underestimate your intelligence, _Blood Red_," the Lobe announced in a disgustingly slimy manner, which made Blood Red shiver with anger. She wondered why the Lobe had pressed the MAWEIT button, rather than choosing to just go alone. Blood Red's unspoken queries were soon answered. "I've transported us sixty-six million years into the past, when _dinosaurs_ roamed the Earth! When I run off into the forest, _you _won't be able to find me and the _carnivorous beasts _that live in this tropical forest will _eat you_, killing you so _I _don't have to make an effort. Ciao!"

Before Freakazoid and Blood Red could blink, the Lobe was off, having gone underneath a hanging branch that was almost _breaking off_ from the tree it was attached to it had so many leaves on it. Freakazoid slapped his head, shouting, "Darn, darn, _darn! Nutbunnies!_", while Blood Red, stamping on the ground very hard so Freakazoid could, _hopefully_, follow her footprints, attempted to follow the villain's trail as best as she could.

She soon became lost, almost going in circles in the uninhabited, _wild _jungle. The Lobe had such a light step and small figure, his trail was practically indistinguishable. Blood Red eventually collapsed to her knees on the muddy ground, beforehand checking that there were no dangerous invertebrates to land on, and she buried her head in her hands, almost crying with despair and realization at what a life-threatening situation they were in.

Luckily, through a mixture of calls and footprint following, the blue skinned superhero managed to find his companion with ease, but lost his confidence when he saw how overcome with "sad, nasty feelings," (as he would say) Blood Red was. He walked over to her with wobbly knees and put a hand on her back, a small but thoughtful gesture of comfort. Blood Red put her hands by her side and looked to her companion, smiling despite the feeling of anger inside her.

"Th-thanks. It's just..." She nearly burst into tears. "I don't know what to _do..._"

Neither did Freakazoid, as it turned out. He _usually_ knew how to deal with girls, but then he was always dealing with girls he fancied, or girls who fancied _him,_ anyway. He had never had to deal with _upset _girls before, he had never been with Steff in this kind of situation. And also, Blood Red wasn't his girlfriend and she had no interest in him. They just... Were kind of like _Hero _and _Sidekick_. Just like that, Freakazoid knew how to cheer up Blood Red.

"Hey look, it's OK, we'll find the Lobe somehow. You're my _sidekick_, we've got to _stick together _and make sure _things work out _the _way _they're _supposed to!_"

Blood Red blinked in surprise. "Sidekick? What's a _sidekick?_"

Freakazoid felt awkwardness creeping into the situation like a rat in the shadows. "Erm... A sidekick is someone who's, just, _with_ a superhero... And... _Helps_ him – and is his _buddy!_"

Blood Red _had _hoped that she would never have to develop sentimentality and such strong ties with this crazy superhuman, but then, _she _needed him and _he _needed her, more than they ever had before. It couldn't hurt to be someone's _buddy_ for a little while, until things finally sorted themselves out.

"OK, I'll be your – _buddy – _then," she stood up and formally shook his hand, Freakazoid smiled with confidence. Little did he know that he was Blood Red's _first_ buddy and some small part of her could not get over the happiness of the situation.

Suddenly, something happened that surprised them both _immensely,_ distracting them from the conversation they had just been having_._

"HELLO? Did I just hear a _voice?_ _Hello there!_ Can you HEAR ME?"

A _human voice_ was calling to them, one that _was not_ the Lobe's. Freakazoid and Blood Red were frozen with fear and shock. What should they _do?_ Why and _how _would another human _be there?_

"Hello? _Please _assure me that I _haven't _been _hearing things AGAIN ?"_

The hero and sidekick had no choice. This man was _desperate,_ they could tell by the tone of his voice, almost as desperate as _they were_, if not more.

"Hello!" the two called together at the same time. "We're over here!"

A few seconds later, a man came up behind them from the undergrowth. Freakazoid and Blood Red were not only shocked by the fact that there was actually another _man_ with them in this point in history, but they were also surprised by the man's ragged, rough appearance. He looked very bent, exhausted and thin from hunger. He wore quite old-fashioned sand-coloured _explorers'_ clothes for Freakazoid, but they were very modern for Blood Red's time. Freakazoid, with his knowledge of famous explorers in black and white films, guessed this man was upper-class English, helped by the fact that Frekazoid had just heard the man's accent.

"Who _are _you, strange hungry _English_ guy?" Freakazoid asked in a quiet voice.

The man, meanwhile, had been surprised at seeing a _blue-skinned_ man and a young boy. At least _he _looked like he was supposed to be there, _these_ people were _very _out of place and _not properly dressed_ for the jungle environment.

"_My _name," the man replied in a husky voice, "Is Mr Mortimer James-Clarke. Oh – nearly forgetting my cordialities, how do you do." He shook the hands of both human beings. "You're probably wondering how I ended up in this _savage _time-zone."

"Indeed _we are_," replied Blood Red. "My companion's name is Freakazoid, he's a _superhero_, which explains why he looks so strange, _I guess._ I'm Blood Red, I'm actually a _girl_, even though I _look_ like a boy."

The man raised his eyebrows as he listened to Blood Red, but acknowledged the pair without saying anything. "Well... I wanted to come into the past to take photographs of real _dinosaurs_, to prove to some of my _skeptical_ friends that these beasts _did _once rule the world. Unfortunately, even though I managed to take photographs, my – _time device_ – was crushed by a Triceratops, when I accidentally left some of my gear on the ground-."

Before Mr James-Clarke could continue, Blood Red asked, "This _Time device_, was it in a box, with buttons that allowed you to press the time and date you want and with an M, SE, R and MAWEIT button?"

Mr James-Clarke, stunned, did not reply for a few moments. Eventually, he gulped and replied, "_Indeed_. I.. Received _mine _from a dodgy dealer. Rather not talk about that now. So... _You _must have one of these _yourself?_"

"We... We _did..._" Blood Red replied awkwardly, shuffling her feet together. "There's... There was another human with us, who _stole _the time device – and _who knows_ where he's gone to _now?_"

Suddenly, the three heard some active rustling in one of the bushes behind them. Freakazoid briefly glimpsed the _Lobe's_ head from underneath some large leaves. The superhero ran forward, rather _naturally_, Blood Red thought, considering his sometimes questionably random actions, but unfortunately, the villain was gone in a flash before the blue-skinned man could grab him and Freakazoid landed in the bush, disturbing a wasp's nest in front of him.

"_RUN!_" shouted Mr James-Clarke urgently, but luckily waited for Blood Red to help up Freakazoid before they all followed the _explorer._ As they ran, the wasps trailing them speedily, Blood Red shouted a few questions to their new companion, above the buzzing noise,

"WHEN WERE YOU BORN, SIR?"

"IN 1811," the man replied, able to be more quiet as the wasps were further away. "I LEFT IN 1845, IF YOU'RE CURIOUS. YOU BOTH KNOW ABOUT DINOSAURS, I PRESUME?"

"_OH_ YES!" replied Frekazoid. "I'VE HAD DIRECT CONTACT WITH A VIRTUAL ONE!"

Blood Red ignored her companion's comment and replied, "A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS, BUT MY MOTHER AND FATHER... HELPED TO FUND A FOSSIL PROJECT A FEW YEARS AGO, SO WE HAVE IDENTIFIED DINOSAURS!"

"_WOW!_" cried Freakazoid. He was just about to say how amazing Snow White sounded, when he decided that it was not necessary for Mr James-Clarke to know about Blood Red's epic parentage _just _yet.

"Really?" replied Mr James-Clarke, slowing down somewhat and lowering his voice a little, as the wasps had started to slow down. "Well, obviously _we've _forgotten about that research. Many people believe in our latest discoveries, but _still _my former friends are skeptical, well, at least they were when I left them."

"When did you leave them?" asked Freakazoid, as the group finally halted, bending down and breathing deeply.

"I've been here for... Three years, roughly," replied the hopeless man. "That was why I was so astounded when I _heard you_. I hoped you would have a similar device to mine. But it seems... You don't have _yours_ anymore either."

"We're _doomed_," sighed Blood Red, resorting to despair again.

"You're couldn't be _more _correct!" a voice shouted to them from a short distance.

Suddenly, the trees around the figures crashed down, as a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_, with _the Lobe_ riding on his back, came up. The Lobe had managed to rope a muzzle around the dinosaur's mouth, so now the Lobe managed to stand up almost straight on the animal's nearly vertical back.

"I had _hoped _you would have _died _by now," the Lobe sighed, looking down at the dinosaur's _pitiful_ little prey. "I've had _tons _of fun in the future, but I thought I'd just come back and _check_ on you..."

"So do _you _have the _time device?_" shouted Mr James-Clarke menacingly, considering his calm, English, upper-class upbringing.

The Lobe snarled. "That's none of _your_ business! How did _you _get here anyway?" Before Mr James-Clarke could answer, the Lobe continued, "_Never mind,_ I _don't _care! You're all going to die, anyway! EAT, _T-rex!_"

And the T-Rex bent down, ready to grab and gobble up some tasty _human prey._


End file.
